Dr Becky Kennedy’s Good Inside… A book review:
Introduction
In a world saturated with parenting books, Good Inside by Dr. Becky Kennedy stands out as a breath of fresh air—a compassionate, research-informed guide rooted in the radical idea that all kids (and all parents) are inherently good inside. Rather than focusing on quick-fix discipline tactics or outdated behaviorist models, Dr. Becky invites parents to see their children—and themselves—with deeper empathy, while still offering firm, clear, actionable tools.
In this review, I’ll walk through ten of the most powerful tools and strategies from Good Inside, highlighting how each chapter builds on the last to form a cohesive and transformative parenting philosophy.
1. Name It to Tame It
Dr. Becky begins by grounding parents in one of the most powerful tools in emotion regulation: helping kids label their feelings. Borrowed from neuroscience and popularized by Dan Siegel, this tool helps children calm down simply by naming what they feel. By saying, “You’re feeling really frustrated right now,” parents validate the internal world of their child—and create an environment where emotional fluency is normal.
🧠 Why it matters: Brain research shows that naming emotions decreases amygdala activity and increases prefrontal cortex regulation.
2. Empathetic Limits
Contrary to the permissiveness often (falsely) associated with gentle parenting, Dr. Becky insists on the importance of limits. What’s different is how those limits are set: not with fear, guilt, or shame—but with connection. Phrases like, “I won’t let you hit. I see you’re upset, and I’m right here with you,” model strength and compassion simultaneously.
🛠 This isn’t soft parenting—it’s strong parenting with soft edges.
3. Repair and Do-Overs
Conflict is inevitable. What makes the difference, Dr. Becky teaches, is repair. This tool encourages parents to come back after the storm and say, “I didn’t handle that the way I wanted to.” She even recommends do-overs—giving both parent and child a chance to re-try a moment and strengthen their bond.
🌱 The message? You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to be willing to repair.
4. Scripts for Tough Moments
Many parents freeze in emotionally intense moments. Dr. Becky equips readers with real, ready-to-use scripts that sound like this:
“It’s okay to feel mad. It’s not okay to hit.”
“I’m here. We’re going to figure this out together.”
These phrases, grounded in developmental psychology, help parents feel confident and prevent escalation.
📖 Think of them as training wheels for emotionally intelligent parenting.
5. Seeing the Good Intentions
Rather than labeling a child as “defiant” or “difficult,” Dr. Becky invites parents to ask, “What good intention is underneath this behavior?” Maybe the child who interrupts is craving connection. Maybe the kid who resists bedtime is afraid of being alone. This tool shifts parenting from judgment to curiosity.
🧭 Reframing behavior helps us respond with wisdom rather than reaction.
6. Emotion Coaching
Borrowing from the work of John Gottman, Dr. Becky builds a strong case for coaching children through their emotions, rather than trying to silence them. This involves recognizing emotional patterns, validating the feeling, and helping kids develop self-awareness and regulation over time.
🎯 It’s not about stopping the meltdown—it’s about helping your child learn from it.
7. Body and Mind Regulation Tools
Children’s emotional outbursts are often a sign of nervous system dysregulation. Dr. Becky emphasizes body-based strategies: using breathwork, grounding exercises, or sensory input like weighted blankets to support regulation. These tools teach kids that they can feel big emotions—and calm themselves down.
🌀 Emotional health begins with nervous system awareness.
8. Playfulness and Connection
When in doubt, play it out. Dr. Becky reminds parents that play is a powerful form of healing. Using humor, silliness, and imaginative connection allows parents to defuse tension, reconnect, and guide children without power struggles. A playful “tickle monster” is sometimes more effective than a stern lecture.
🎈 Play is the language of childhood. Learn to speak it fluently.
9. Validation First
A golden rule throughout the book: validate before you educate. Children—and adults—are more receptive to guidance when they feel seen. Before teaching or correcting, Dr. Becky encourages parents to pause and reflect their child’s experience back to them: “You were so excited, and it was hard to wait your turn.”
🪞 Validation builds the bridge that discipline can walk across.
10. Resilience Building
The final chapters move from momentary strategies to lifelong growth. Dr. Becky helps parents understand that frustration, boredom, disappointment—these are all gifts in disguise. With support, kids learn to tolerate discomfort and bounce back stronger. Instead of rescuing kids from struggle, we walk with them through it.
🌄 Resilience isn’t taught in calm moments—it’s built in messy ones.
Final Thoughts
Good Inside isn’t just a parenting book—it’s a relationship manual for how to raise emotionally intelligent, self-aware, and compassionate humans, while healing yourself along the way. Dr. Becky Kennedy’s tools are simple without being simplistic, compassionate without being permissive, and science-backed without being cold.
Whether you’re a first-time parent or deep into the teenage years, this book offers more than theory. It offers hope.
📝 Recommended For:
Parents looking to build deeper emotional connection
Educators and therapists seeking child-centered language
Anyone who wants to break generational cycles of shame and control
📚 Rating: 5/5
Empowering. Grace-filled. Grounded in science and soul.
